DAIRY OF A SUNDAY CHURCH WANDERER (2)

Hello everyone, my name is Ubulaba and I am just a Sunday Christian. Nothing to be proud of, someday, I hope to change.

****

On today’s episode of my Sunday gist, you wouldn’t believe what happened to me in the two churches I visited. I was totally overwhelmed and exhausted from confusion to frustration and then to excitement at the end of the day. After what happened to me the other Sunday, I didn’t feel like going to church the next Sunday but I knew I just had to. My two neighbors, Abiodun and James convinced me to attend their churches. Both of their churches had special youth services at different hours so I was super excited to join both of them 

***

‘Shubaba laba kaya kudo!!! Na nan …ahopoopppp….hfiiednni’

I squinted from the back to see the pastor praying with so much vigour. He used his brown handkerchief to clean some sweats gathering on his forehead down to his neck. 

He walked zealously to and fro the pulpit like a soldier training for war.  

Almost everyone in the church had their eyes closed but not me. I squinted from time to time, surveying my environment in case o!

‘Are you sure you are praying somebody!’ the pastor asked amidst the prayers.

Immediately I closed my eyes tight

‘ Pray! Pray! Pray! until you hit a gusher somebody’, the pastor shouted

I heard everybody clapping their hands. I squinted again to survey my environment.

The atmosphere was tensed, almost everyone was clapping furiously and stamping their feet, some were even shaking and nodding their heads, a million time in one second.

It my first time being in a church with so much drama. I did not even understand the gibberish they were speaking that they called Tongues. I heard people screaming like they were possessed. 

One lady sitting by my side , fell on me, I lost balanced and fell too. My wig almost fell too. I screamed in shock and put both hands on my heads to put the wig in place. 

Two ushers quickly ran to us and started to pull us both to the alter. I pushed their hands from my body and told them I was fine. They let me go.

I closed my eyes back and tried to pray.

‘Holy Ghost Fire, Fire! Fall down now!!!’ the Pastor continued. ‘Youths push until something happen, pray until the angels deliver your blessings, for you ought to pray and not faint’. He added.

I started to ask myself why I even came to the church. It was Abiodun my neighbour that invited me and he specifically told me it was a special youth service. I came with so much expectations of games and other fun activities. 

But I was shocked that only opening prayers lasted closed to three hours. My ankles hurt really bad from the long standing and I sprinkled my ankle from the unexpected fall and I had to remove them at some point.

I thought I had seen it all until the sermon began.

‘And some of you youths need to repent to get the fire of God. Choir members, you cannot be fornicating and be leading holy songs. If the fire of God you prayed for, comes upon you, it will consume you instead of helping you’. The pastor preached.

Everywhere was still. The youths were sober. I felt out of place.

As the pastor went further, he did not mention name but I knew I was the case study and topic for the sermon at some point.

‘Females especially, you need to repent. You come to church dressed like you are looking for husband. Some of you will come with human hair ,  Brazilian, Indian, Mexico , etc and be showing off. Will your hair stink if you cover in up in church for a few hours, you will wear heels and be praying like flamingo, instead of wearing flats, tell me, if there is a fire incident now, can you run with what you are wearing’.  He preached further.

I looked around and I was the only one on midi gown, with my human hair not covered and wearing heels.

 

Well, maybe I was the one just over thinking it but I knew if there were my types in the service, we were few.

At the end of the service, I did not even want to stay for first timer’s package, something I always looked forward in all the churches I visited but Abiodun the Tidsoptimist, who invited me and came 30 mins to end of the service , encouraged me to.

I think that was the best part of the service for me,the pastors embraced each of us, they gave us big dairy and a nice big bowl of lunch.

I didn’t say anything to Abiodun after everything. 

I quickly rushed home and changed into one of my mother’s bolobolo gown, I wore a very big  hat that covered the whole of my head and I wore I fancy flat shoe. I washed off my make up and took uber to James Church.

James was always on time. I saw him waiting for me at the entrance. He did not even recognized me.

‘What happened to you, did you lose someone?’ he asked

‘No! Why do you ask?’

‘You looked like you are mourning or going for revival’ he answered

‘I was trying to be modest like the Pastor in Abiodun church said’

‘You fell my hands o, I said youth program, not revival, I  have told everyone about my friend that knows how to dress really well, one of a kind Christain and fashionista and they are looking forward to meeting you, anyways, let’s go inside ‘ he held my hands

I entered the church and I was surprised by all the beautiful things I saw, from the  church  structure, to the sitting arrangement and the buffet .

The ushers were like angels, they wore fitted beautiful white gowns and they had the most beautiful smiles I had ever seen.

We played lots of games and  had relationship talk thereafter. 

I noticed one brother admiring me from afar.  I wasn’t just in the mood so I ignored him.

 

It was a really beautiful , mixed up Sunday but I was glad I went to church

Written by Munu Ogheneochuko. 

Catch up with Ubulaba  next week Sunday as she shares her life story from been just a Sunday Christain to finding God full time