DAIRY OF A SUNDAY CHURCH WANDERER (5)
A retrospection to last week church incidence invoked a feeling of uncertainty.
Pastor B and his cohort have been following up on me all through the week till yesterday before deliberately blocking all their numbers. I did not wanted to be a worker in Sanitation department. I could not just imagine myself dressing up, all sweet this morning and be cleaning toilets or getting rid of waste, it is not possible. God knows the people he has given the grace for such department. Maybe, someday, I may join them but definitely not this Easter.
It is another Easter Sunday and what better Sunday to wear my new Ankara gown , though pretty really tight with puffy hands, Adeola my Tailor just made for me. I had waited for the gown for close to 4 months. I really anticipate wearing it.
I had ironed my outfit, arranged my bag, clean my shoes, my hat with my accessories ready and shinning the previous night.
The only problem not sorted was the church I was going to go to. I searched Google tirelessly but there was no church in the map, closed by that I had not visited atleast once.
I did not want to go far away too because I could not afford to take Uber. I was pretty broke.
I used another hour to search again and I found a new church that was just 45 minutes work from my house, the only money I had in my purse based on calculations would be enough to cater for just my offering. If it is not, I will use legedisbenz to and fro..
*******
*‘Kaaaaaaaaaiiiiii,my head o’*
The ushers around all rushed to come help me on my foot.
It was bad enough that I got to church late and I still fell down ,face flat on the floor.
It was really embarrassing but I was glad it was at the just at the part towards the entrance so not many people saw me fell flat on the floor but I’m certain they all heard my exclamation.
After a brief teaching on the resurrection of Jesus Christ, Thanksgiving came afterwards. We all danced and danced and dance. It’s been long I danced my special dance in a long time. I removed my heels, my hats, and did not mind anyone who was watching. Call me an agbero dance, I would accept, but one thing was certain, if dancing was a gateway to heaven , then the gates would be wide open for me.
Offering time came and we were supposed to dance to the offering baskets to drop our offerings, but this big brother, with really fine and with a cripsy white t-shirt, he would dance forward once and dance backward ten times, it was interesting at first with the beats of the talking drum, shekere and normal drums, when you hear the brother shout ey!!! You know he is taking a step forward but till then , just know were moving backward and backward, the pastor officiating the offering even noticed and called the brother name, the brother, we then shouted ‘ey ey ey!!!, he moved forward three times and danced on the spot for close to five minutes.
‘Sister move now!!!’ three people at my back shouted at me. Me too, I refused to move. I continued to dance. The choristers soon started to sing, we are going forward everyday, baba started to dance vigorously. started to retreat his feet to the back, I paused my dancing for some seconds and listened to the lyrics of the song, We are moving forward and this fat brother was vigorously pushing me and others to the back with his dance steps and big bumbum like a woman.
I pushed him on his bum forward but baba was still retreating. I came out of his back and danced forward, others joined me and baba eventually joined us. We dropped our offering and danced back to our seats.
After offerning the pastor asked for first times to stand up , I looked around, no one stood up, I looked around again, no one. I shyly stood up, and the pastor asked again.
Been the only time comer that stood up
‘Any other first comer,? Well, on behalf of all the church, we have a Easter present to give to all first timers for today but since we have only one, on behalf of the church, you all taking everything . 50 THOusand naira, a plane trip ticket to anywhere in Nigeria worth one hundred thousand naira, an Iphone,
The congregation started to scream
‘A brand new laptop, a movie ticket, and of couse 10 cds of Pastor R CD’.
‘HAPPY EASTER!!!’
I did not know when I feel down and started weeping.
What did I ever do to God to deserve this.
As I carried my gifts to the my seats , I shed tears of Joy. It was an expected Easter.
As the Pastor was about saying the closing prayers, he stopped midway and said that the Lord told him that there was a family has already planned that they are not not going to celebrate Easter because they had no money. He requested for the family to come out in a minute.
I was shocked to see that fat brother coming and the Pastor gave him an envelope.
The Lord instructed me personally to give you this 200,000 naira.
The whole congregation screamed.
I got home in Uber, as I asked for the price of the Uber, I paid the driver times 3 of the cost. The Lord had blessed me so I had to bless others.
Happy Easter!!!
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